32 years ago at the age of 17, I took my last steps and have since lived life as a quadriplegic. James Taylor wrote, “every now and then the things I lean on lose their meaning, and I find myself careening, into places that I should not let me go…”.
It is such a “noisy” world, and I frequently forget how blessed I am. I frequently forget all of those wonderful blessings that I “lean on”, and I lose my way.
A funny thing happened over the last several years while I was trying to write a book about my life (available in fine bookstores everywhere very very soon :-)! In trying to write about me, all I could think about was everyone else in my life….. Every word. Every letter. Every note. Every joke. Every Hug. Every kiss. Everything, anyone sent in my direction to encourage or simply say “hello, you were on my mind today”! I remember many things I had completely forgotten about.
When I am reminded of where I am in life versus what the experts predicted, I want to shout from the mountaintop and brag on my God, my family and my friends. So I’ve written a book, and now evidently am going to be writing a blog. Even posting on Facebook is a bit outside my comfort zone, so even though my friends have wanted me to write a book for many years I just couldn’t get enthusiastic about it.
But even strangers are telling me that they think I got it right… I finally have pointed the finger away from me, and given credit where credit is deserved.
So let the enthusiastic mountaintop shouting commence ASAP!
While trying to write I frequently have been crying and I’ve not been able to really figure out why. Poor Linda. But I think it all came together for me in the way it always has.
Selfish pride and enjoying attention came on my radar through circumstances, conversation and contemplation. Then I started reading the Bible.
One night I read dozens of chapters in Psalms that were written by David. If you did not know the man you would wonder if he was a flake, manic depressive, or having a mental breakdown. His highs were incredibly high, and his lows were devastating. I’d not been sure what was going on inside of me, but evidently King David was experiencing some of the same kind of stuff.
Eureka! I honestly believe that you never get to experience the full joy of your salvation until you come to a proper understanding of filthy rags and who you really are. The irony of the Christian life is sometimes… well, most of the time if not always the journey on the way to joy sometimes begins with a visit to the dung heap that is me. And then when I consider how much God loves me to do what he did for me in all my worthlessness…
All of a sudden I remembered that God says in his word, “You can do nothing apart from Me”. But what does “nothing” mean……Hmmmm? Well, “nothing” means by golly nothing! So I have been “trying” with all of my own effort, creativity, strength, cleverness and it just occurred to me that exactly what I’m trying to communicate in the book is… I do not have what it takes and have never had what it takes…
When I get out of God’s way… Focus on him… Take inventory and realize I am nothing… I become broken…
When this happens God gives me purpose, power, passion, productivity and overwhelming joy.
I am definitely “BEST WHEN BROKEN”…
I just finished your book and loved every page of it! My only regret is that it wasn’t much longer. Thank you for being an inspiration to us.